Doubts

I'm disconnected...

For some reason, I'm not emotionally connected to the baby. I read about the development of the baby every week, but most of my emotions are related to worrying about his or her health and well-being. I look at Megan, pregnant and all, but all I see is Megan. Maybe it's a guy thing. Everything else feels...distant.

I try picturing myself as a dad.

That's even more difficult.

How in the heck did my dad do this? In my biggest of dreams, I pray that I am even half the dad that my dad was/is for me. He always knew what to do. Do I? He was always there for me. Will I be? He always did what was best for us and the family. Will I do that?

Moms on the otherhand seem to have this natural instinct to love and react. My Mom always seemed to have the answers. Megan always seems to have the answers (don't tell her I said that). What gives?

I'm declaring gender dicrimination. I think God left something out when he molded man. Maybe the extra rib that God took from Adam and gave to Eve has something to do with it???

When it comes down to it, it has to be just like everything else. Trial and error. It's always nice to have people in your life that care and want to help you through times like this. I definitely welcome that. But, at the same time, I want to experience things on our own and in our own way. To me, I could care less about what happened with Joe Smoe's baby. Every experience is unique and different.

I just hope I succeed at doing whatever it is a dad does.