Today was my first day off of Spring Break (which is much needed by the way), but it started off with a struggle between my faith and my insecurities of faith. As I was running some errands, I noticed a homeless man who usually stands at the off-ramp of 77 on Portage. Usually, I just drive by and think nothing of it. Today was different. When I drove by, something compelled me to want to stop and help out. I invisioned parking at a nearby store and offering to pay for his meal at subway or country pride. I thought about lending him my time for an hour to get warm, fed, and listened to.
But, I didn't.
The entire time I drove around on my errands, I thought about that man. I thought about showing him that someone cares and that not everyone just "drives by." I wanted to tell him that God loved him even though he is going through some rough times and that no matter what, God feels his pain. I wanted to tell him to keep his head up and to think positive about his future. I wanted to shake his hand after a nice hour of eating and conversation and let him feel that feeling of being cared for.
But, I didn't.
As I'm typing this, it is breaking my heart that I wasn't strong enough to do such a thing. That my societal role and labeling got the best of me. How did Jesus do this stuff? How did He have the strength to defy society and love people like that homeless man on a daily basis. Most importantly though, why couldn't I do it? My faith is infant compared to many peoples, but I understand the struggles that go on between my heart and my faith. The one thing that I need to learn is that my heart is imbedded in the faith of God, therefore my heart is His. So what is holding me back?
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